Time

So July was insanely busy on all fronts (personal and professional). Thankfully, it looks like things will be slowing down a bit in August, so hopefully I will be able to get back the "the novel." But for now, I want to talk about time. I've written a lot on this blog about how little time I seem to have for myself and how, when I finally get an hour or two, it's hard to use it to do something productive as opposed to say, vegging out on the couch and watching television.

Just so you know I'm not joking, here is what my Monday through Friday look like...

6 a.m. Alarm goes off and I hit the snooze.
6:09 a.m. Alarm goes off again and I hit the snooze again.
6:18 a.m. Alarm goes off (again) and I hit the snooze (again).
6:27 a.m. Alarm goes off and I hit the snooze, look at the clock, (curse) and get out of bed.
7:10 a.m. Kiss my hubby and baby goodbye and head to the office.
7:30 a.m. to Noon Work (read/pull newsclips, answer e-mail/voicemail, editing, etc.)
Noonish Lunch, typically eaten at my desk or I'll use this hour to run errands.
1 to 4:30 p.m. Work (editing, writing, planning, meetings).
4:30 p.m. Leave work to pick up my daughter from daycare.
5:45 p.m. Finally get home, start dinner.
6:30 p.m. Eat dinner with the hubs and baby.
7 p.m. Bathtime (my favorite part of my day)
7:30 p.m. Put the baby to bed and do whatever chores need doing (dishes, laundry, whatever)
8 to 9:30 p.m. Time for myself (typically watch television with the hubs or get in bed to read)
9:30 to 10 p.m. Bedtime

Weekends are, of course, less hectic. In fact, I make a point of making sure that on weekend mornings we can all hang out in our pajamas and eat a big breakfast. I also make a point of spending as much time as possible with my daughter since our time is so limited during the week. For those out there without children, spending hours reading Dr. Suess or pushing a two year old on a swing may seem like a boring way to spend the weekend, but, honestly, there is nothing I would rather be doing. Spending time with my husband and daughter, even if we're just shopping at Target, is the highlight of my week.

The part where the guilt comes in is when my daughter goes down for her nap after lunch. I always have this debate in my mind whether to use this magic hour or two to write or to watch a movie/read/nap. Most of the time the latter activities win and then the weekend is over and I feel guilty for not getting any writing done. Sigh. It is a vicious circle.

So what do you all think? Am I being too hard on myself?

Better go, my daughter is waking up from her nap...

Busy Girl

"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full." — Henry Kissinger

Do you ever feel this way? I sure have lately! I know I have been a bad, bad blogger, but I have been so busy I'm surprised I've found time to sleep! I promise to post a longer update this weekend...

July?!

How can it possibly be July 1 already? That means I have 312 days left 'til my 30th birthday. With my word count stalled out at 5,462, I'm beginning to rethink this whole "finish my first novel by my 30th birthday" thing.

So what is a realistic goal for writing a novel? Especially when you factor in working full time and caring for a 23 month old daughter (and all the other things life throws at you)? I suppose one answer is that if I was truly passionate about writing this novel, I would find the time to make it happen. Someone else might say that you can't force creativity — and this is especially true for me as I often have to mull things over for a while before I actually sit down to write, even in my writing in my professional life. But at what point does this "mulling things over" become simple procrastination?

I've been thinking lately about pausing on the writing of this novel to write something totally different. Not a memoir, per se, but a novel based on my own childhood and family. I've done a lot of similar writing in the past and its almost like I need to get that out of the way to free me up to write the half dozen or so other stories in my head. Perhaps I will mull this idea over the long July 4th weekend...

Success

I've been thinking a lot lately about success and what makes one person more successful than another. There are several women I know that are my age or younger who have already surpassed me in terms of career success. On the one hand, this makes me a little envious. How have they already achieved so much when I feel I still have so much left to learn? On the other (more rational) hand, I realize that they probably had a clearer vision of what they wanted to be when they grew up.

When I went to college, I intended to become a psychologist. I soon realized, however, that while I enjoyed my psychology classes, I didn't have enough passion for it to justify pursuing it through graduate school. So I turned to creative writing, since that was the only other thing I could see myself doing at the time. By my senior year, I decided I wanted to write for a living, be it for magazines, newspapers, whatever. And for the most part that is what I have done since I graduated, beginning with piddly freelance assignments, working my way up to writing full time.

Only recently has public relations come on my radar, partly because of my job and partly because I joined the Florida Public Relations Association. Both of these experiences have awakened a new passion in me and opened up career paths I had never considered before.

So I suppose it is no wonder I feel like I am playing catch up to other women my age who knew from college that they wanted to work in PR. And I'm starting to realize I shouldn't beat myself up about it. So what? Who cares what age I am when I become a director? The idea is to take keep learning, keep striving to reach my goals. I'll get there one day.

What do you think? Have you ever felt like you weren't enough of a success? What have you done to attain your goals?

Wrote Tonight. Yay.

Days left: 328
Words written: 5,462

I haven't touched "the novel" in probably two months. I felt inspired tonight so I sat down and reacquainted myself with it. Felt good. Maybe I'll do some more tomorrow...

Why I am glad it is Friday...

Monday: My cat freaked out while sitting in my lap and scratched my neck and chest. Looked like I'd been in a fight (which I guess technically I was...)

Tuesday: My husband was out of town so I had to take my daughter to day care and pick her up after work (a total of more than two hours in the car for the day).

Wednesday: Couldn't sleep for the second night in a row because my hubby was gone (and I am a scaredy cat and think every little noise is a burglar) so was exhausted all day. And I had to drop off and pick up my daughter again. (I know. I am a big whiny whiner, but whatever. It still sucked.)

Thursday: As soon as I pulled into the parking lot at work, the day care called and said my daughter had thrown up so I needed to come and get her. (So that's two hours in the car in a row.) And then I got stung by a wasp.

Friday: Hubby is home, it's my pick for movie night and I don't have to cook. Yay!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Missing

Missing: One journal belonging to Kiley Annise Mallard. If found, please return to owner. Thanks.

I have been looking everywhere for my journal and cannot find it. I have looked under furniture, in all the closets, even in my car and my office (though why it would be there I have no idea). The only thing I can think is that I accidently packed it up with the Christmas decorations or threw it away with some old newspapers.

I am not so much worried about anyone reading it, as I am pretty much an open book. I'm more upset from a sentimental perspective. I started that journal while we were living in Michigan, the first year we were married, poured my loneliness into it for that year and a half. I wrote an entry in the hour after I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. My husband had to work that morning and I didn't want to tell him over the phone. But I also wanted him to be the first to know so turned to my journal to express my joy and excitement (and nervousness). I've worked out so many of my emotions in that journal. It is like a dear friend.

Hopefully it will turn up soon. I will keep you posted...